Well, it is officially May! Another month down. April seemed to fly by, thankfully. Keep those days ticking down and before we know it, I won't be so lonely anymore. But with a new month's joys brings new challenges.
I got a phone call from my mom this afternoon. She called to tell me my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a hard one to swallow. It really came out of the blue and caught me off guard. I sat there on the phone quite calmly and let the facts my mom was telling me digest. Words like mastectomy and chemo danced around in my ears. It was not until I texted my roommate the news that it really hit me. I had been doing so well all day with the thought of celebrating a new month. I sat on my bed in disbelief. When will all this end? I feel like I have been thrown so many trials and tribulations - all of which I have had to deal with on my own. I don't care if I am being selfish, I want my soldier back so he can be here to listen to and comfort me.
But I know that I am not truly alone. I have some wonderful friends and the best family I could ask for. They just aren't him. They aren't my soldier. They aren't my best friend. They aren't the one who knows me inside and out and knows just the right thing for me to hear.
As I am sitting here writing, I can't help but laugh at how he tries to cheer me up whenever I am upset. There was one time when I was driving and a bird came out of nowhere and decided to dive under my tire. Totally not my fault at all! But it still upset me (yes, I am one of those girls every now and then). He called not long after the bird sacrificed its life to my tire and I told him all about it.
Oh, honey, don't be upset! he said. The little birdie just called me. He said he thought you might be upset but he didn't die! He's okay. He said he had to run off to see his little birdie babies and couldn't tell you himself.
Childish? Perhaps. But do I care? Not one bit. He had me laughing and forgot all about the poor bird that was surely squished on the interstate behind me.
Now, I'm sure he would kill me if he knew I wrote about this, but thankfully he doesn't read my blog. It is the little things like this that make me see how wonderful of a guy he is. How amazing he is. The way he treats me is just like a princess. This example alone shows he will make a wonderful father one day, and I really hope I can be there with him to see that transformation.
I guess blogging has turned out a lot more theraputic than I had imagined. I say things here I wouldn't tell my friends or family. I can sit in my room and get my frustrations out, but then realize they aren't really that bad after all. I just keep looking on the positive side, and I hope you do, too. Thanks for sticking around, bloggers. I couldn't do it without y'all.