This past week was very stressful. I was averaging less than 5 hours of sleep a night and all of the other hours of the day were consumed with class, studying, and projects. It was madness. And next week is finals! So my stress level is through the roof right now.
When I finally made it out of my last class, the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. A perfect start to the weekend. And what did I want to do? Pick up my phone to call my soldier and tell him how glad I was that this ridiculous weekend was over. But I couldn't. You would think that by now I would remember not to try to call him. I guess I will never fully accept that he isn't here. I will always want to call him and be around him and tell him all about my day right when I want to. But I can't.
Just make it to the car I kept telling myself. Just one more block. Just make it there. The stress of this week and the lack of sleep hit me like a wave rolling over my body. All I wanted was sleep. All I wanted was my solier. I knew I couldn't make it.
I kept walking as fast as I could. My hands grabbed my keys from my pocket and fumbled them around. I reached the crosswalk where my car waited for me on the other side of the road. The light wouldn't let me cross. I just wanted to go home and get back in bed.
When I finally got to my car, it happened. I reached out and touched the door handle as the tears pooled out from my eyes. And when I turned on the car and a sappy "I miss you" song came on the radio, I lost it. But I composed myself before I walked in my front door. Sometimes all we need is that little moment to ourselves to let out our weaknesses.
And then I turned on the news and saw the devistation the tornados caused the next state over. And just two hours up the road people were hit, too. It is hard to remember other people have it a lot worse than we do. Yes, I am going through something terrible and facing it as brave as I can every day. But there are people going through a nightmare just down the street. It is hard to forget how lucky we can be. I know, at least for now, that my soldier is safe. I am safe. My friends are safe. I have a home to go back to. My thoughts and prayers are with those affected by the horrific storms.
Thankfully I had the Royal Wedding to look forward to. I woke up at 5 a.m. and made muffins with my roommate (from the bag....don't worry, I'm not that crazy). Then we put all of our pillows and blankets on the floor and seven of us piled on top of the floor and got ready to watch it. The wedding was beautiful. And her dress? Don't even get me started. All of the girls were saying how their boyfriends thought they were stupid for geting up so early and watching a wedding of people we didn't even know. Little did they know, I got a message from my soldier saying, "Good royal morning, baby" and it made my day. I am so blessed to have someone who understands me so well.
I hope everyone else is happy and safe. Keep the tornado victims in your prayers as well as our service members. They all need our love and support right now. I can't wait for my soldier to be safe in my arms again.