Thursday, June 30, 2011

On again, off again...

I've talked about it before. And I know most of you can relate. Sometimes it flip-flops back and forth. Sometimes It may change seven times in a span of three days. But there's nothing you can really do about it.

Plans change.

But sometimes, it's for the better. We found out last night that our weekend plans have changed, yet again. His training was postponed three days. Now we get to spend the Fourth of July together! I thought I was about to cry when he told me the news. I'm so happy.
It took a really long time for me to accept the fact that our plans are never really set. I've just had to learn to roll with the punches. My poor mother is probably so tired of hearing about all the plans changing. But she asks! Maybe she'll learn to stop is better to not know all of the details and change of plans until something is definite...aka the day before (or sometimes the hour before) they happen.

Now I'm off to take my final and have yet another class out of the way! Then I have so much laundry and cleaning to do before my apartment looks half way presentable. And did I mention that I'm in the process of moving into another apartment? Have of my stuff is already at the new place so now I have to make that look good in case I decide to live there any time soon. Busy, busy, busy! But I don't mind. At least I get one more weekend with my soldier.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Stress Management: the class or the action?

Last night I wasn't feeling too well. All I wanted to do was crawl up next to my soldier and have him cuddle me. We talked on the phone for over an hour. I was a little clingy and mopey too. Ok, so I really wasn't feeling well. I guess this month's stress has caught up with me. And all the ice cream my roommate and I ate didn't really help either.
So when we were on the phone, I asked my soldier, "Do you remember that day you got off work early and I happened to be out of class early and I sat outside on campus and talked on the phone with you for over two hours? I miss those days." His reply said it all. "Remember those days I got off work and came home to you and we hung out together and got to snuggle all night and did it all over again the next day? Those days are going to be so much better." I'm so ready to get married. We are so ready. This year better fly by!
When he tells people he is about to leave for a little bit they look at him and say, "You sure are getting off easy! Lucky you!" Yeah, he's so lucky that he won't be able to talk to me through the majority of our engagement. He's really lucky that I have to go and pick out all of the food for the rehearsal and reception, will probably decide what his guys wear in the wedding, and how all of his stuff is going to be decorated. He is also really lucky that my mom and I are probably going to hold this over him for the next 20 years or so. He's really lucky he is missing one of the most important times in our lives. Right.
I talked to my adviser today and we talked about how many more classes I have to take in order to graduate next May. Needless to say, I have a lot of work to do. And I can't mess up on any of them! No pressure or anything....
I'm really excited to be getting married and I can't wait. I would go and marry that boy today if I could. But we promised I would finish school before that happened. I just didn't think it would be this difficult. Take my advice, don't change your major three times and then add a minor. Pick one major and stick with it!
On a good note, I finished my Stress Management class today and found out I got an A! I guess all of this hard work is paying off. Now to focus on the other class...won't be so easy. Hopefully all the techniques I learned in Stress Management will come into play soon.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Thrown into it

Well, I've officially been a terrible blogger lately! I guess this month has been way more than I had imagined. The extra class has really added some stress...not to mention now I have a wedding to plan!
This weekend my soldier and I went home and made a lot of wedding plans. It was so much fun. I love making plans. I love it even more that I can make these plans with him. The fact that we can walk around town and talk about where we want to live and where we should have our reception and what our colors should be. It is everything I ever dreamed of.
However, I didn't dream of him leaving so quickly. We said goodbye for an extended amount of time this weekend. It hasn't really hit me yet. And I haven't decided if I should put the wedding plans on hold. Not that I am calling it off by any means! I just hate the thought of making a lot of decisions about OUR wedding while he is away and we can't have much contact. It is going to be frustrating. I'm really being thrown into the military life, no doubt about it.
Any suggestions of what I should do? Have any of you gone through an engagement with your significant other gone for a long time? It is going to be an interesting experience.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Off again?

Well, it is crazy how quickly your day can turn sour.

Got the news today that we are looking at an extensive training in our near future. We thought it wouldn't be too soon, but.....surprise! It is becoming so difficult to make plans sometimes. They never go the way you think they will. I've almost given up on making plans more than two months away (besides the wedding...thank goodness for the wedding.) so my world doesn't turn upside down when things go wrong.

Didn't he just get back? Didn't we just get used to being around each other again? Didn't we just start making plans to start our lives together?

I know I shouldn't least I know he is still going to be safe...but, still. Hopefully it won't happen as quickly as we are hearing. Sometimes, it just isn't fair.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I'm back!

Hello, Bloggers! I'm back from my two week break, and I sure did miss y'all! I took these last two weeks off to spend time with my new FIANCE! I still can't believe it, but I am so super excited!
We had a wonderful time together. I can't even describe it. It is nice to feel whole again. It is so nice to have him back in my life.
We spent a lot of time with our friends here at school and with my family these past two weekends. I have my best friend back and it is perfect. And now we are planning our wedding together! It doesn't get much better than that!!
We haven't made too many plans yet for the wedding...he still has to go back to work and make sure all the dates line up just right. But if it all goes according to plan, I will be an Army Wife in a little over a year! Just got to get school out of the way first...

I will post more details and pictures soon after I see what everyone else has been up to.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Military girlfriend no more.

This weekend has been a life changing experience.

I am no longer a military girlfriend. No longer will I say "my boyfriend is in the service" or "my boyfriend is stationed...." or "my boyfriend is my hero".

It happened quickly and was a short conversation. Few words were exchanged. A few tears were shed, but at the end, we knew we were doing the right thing.

I guess when you are separated from someone, you are truly tested to see how you feel about them. It can really take you by surprise.

I am no longer a military girlfriend, but I do not regret the steps we took to get here. They were filled with joy and love that I will always carry with me.

No, I am no longer a military girlfriend. I am a military fiance and I couldn't be happier.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sweet Summertime

Sweet, sweet summertime. My soldier and I have been soaking it up this week. Things seem more simple these days (excluding the two classes I'm still taking). Life is going great.
If I think back to the past 7 or 8 summers (geez...), there are memories of my soldiers of at least half of them. It is crazy to think that he was always there, always on the brim of my life, and I tried to ignore it for so long. I guess it is true that things happen for a reason and all happen to line up perfectly.
- In 2004, my soldier and I met through my brother at a church function. Ironically it was a lock-in so we technically spent the night together the first night we met. We had an instant connection, attraction, whatever you want to call it, and spent hours flirting and playing around and talking all night. We shared our first kiss together that summer. The first kiss for the both of us.
- For the next 2 summers (I think...) we were around each other briefly when we would hang out with mutual friends either at my family's game nights or at a youth group function we were involved with. One summer we almost started dating again. As he put it, we would "sneak off and make out on the golf course". Cute, right? Oh, high school....
- The summer after my senior year of high school, when we were both dating someone else, my soldier called me and insisted he take me to dinner to reconnect. He took me out to a nice dinner and we sat and talked the whole time. It wasn't until right at the end of the night when he told me he decided to enlist. This was such a shock. I didn't even know it was an option. Not only did he enlist, he was leaving for boot camp the next day. I cried the whole night. While he was gone, we wrote a few letters, which I still have.
- The next summer, while deployed, my soldier was hurt. I remember sitting on my bed when I found out the news...via his brother's Facebook. I ran downstairs to my mom, where she was ironing clothes, and cried on her shoulder. I was crying so hard I couldn't even get the words out about what happened. All I could do was stand there and cry.
- The summer after he was hurt, we reconnected yet again. This time, it stuck. In a short amount of time, we knew that this time we were meant to be. After work every day, we would meet up for dinner or a movie and just spend time together. We talked about what life would be like if we decided to date and what it would be like if we didn't. We knew it would be hard if we stayed together, but we knew it would be even more difficult if we didn't stay together.
- That leads us to where we are today. Still together and just absolutely crazy about one another. We love walking around outside just before dark as the fireflies come out. We take picnic lunches by the river. We grill out with our friends. We splash each other in the pool. We like to feel the sand between our toes. We stay up hours later than we should talking and laughing and joking around with each other.
Yes, summer has always been good to us. It has always brought us together for some reason. I hope summers will always be a blissful time in our lives. A time where we can just be together and have so much fun playing around. There's always so much to do during the summer, and I am so glad he is back here to do it all with me.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Back with my Buddy

It is wonderful having my soldier here with me. We can do whatever we want! No more waiting for the weekend to see each other. No checking with other people to see if they made plans that we have to tag along with. No calls from work (ok...well, almost no calls). Just time together. Time for us to be a couple.
So far, we've spent these few days going on dates, watching movies, laughing, joking, riding around, holding hands, and snuggling. Lots of snuggling. He met me on campus today after my first class and for the first time we got to walk hand-in-hand across campus. Oh, so wonderful. It felt nice to be a real college couple..even if he doesn't go here. I've never really had that. He has always visited on weekends when I wanted nothing to do with being on campus.
We were riding in the car the other day and I said, "I'm glad to have my riding buddy back." He looked at me, smiled, and said, "Babe, I'm glad to have my everything buddy back. You make everything so much better." How precious is that? He is quite the keeper. We even had a blast playing around in the pool yesterday. It is nice to have someone you can have fun with. We have so much fun just being ourselves together. He gets me. We fit just right. We belong together. All that waiting was certainly worth it.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Cate Day!

Today in my Stress Management class, it was "Cate Day"! A day just for me! We all sat around a table and I shared things about me and they asked me questions and at the end, they all stood up, gave me a hug, and told me one compliment. How great is that? It is just what we need every now and then.
One of the questions a classmate asked me was what I wanted to do with my major. I hadn't given it much thought, but I am interested in PTSD, so I said that. They all looked at me a bit puzzled; I guess that isn't a normal response. Most people want to go into counseling or work with children. I quickly explained that my boyfriend was in the service so it would fit well in our life.
Then more and more questions were asked: Was he overseas? When did he get back? How did it effect your relationship? Has he changed? I answered everything as simply and tactfully as I could. I got some sweet smiles and reassuring nods from people I just met yesterday.
Then another question was thrown at me: What was one of your most life changing experiences? I don't think I have to explain what I told them.
When I was done sharing fun facts about myself and my classmates were done asking random questions (they weren't all deep questions....some were my middle name or if I had any pets), I stood up and they all came to me and gave me a hug and said one compliment. A lot of them were "you have pretty eyes" or "you're really sweet", but the ones that got me the most was when a few people, complete strangers before yesterday, looked at me and said "you are so strong for standing by your boyfriend".
This got me thinking of how some people look at our situation in awe. They respect us for staying home while our loved ones leave. They think we are heroes for doing something they could never do. They see us as the strong ones, even when we may not. I wanted to send you a few reassuring thoughts for when you are having a rough day.

So to my readers:
-You are beautiful.
-You are strong.
-You were put here for a purpose.
-You can do anything you put your mind to.
-You are loved.
-You are a hero, too.

Although "Cate Day" may be over, it doesn't mean the way I felt in class will not carry through the rest of the day and probably a few days on. Make today yours. Do stuff for yourself. Remind yourself why you are strong. Remind yourself why you keep going. Keep fighting. Never give up. Make each day your own.