Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Put to a halt

Tonight he called way earlier than I usually hear from him. It was great! For once, I wasn't practically falling asleep on the phone while talking. I fell asleep on him last night and I felt bad for that so I was hoping to make up for it today.
We got to talk about wonderful things. We talked about taking our vacation together. We thought of many ideas of places we could go and things we could see. We talked about me moving into my new apartment. We picked out some furniture together that hopefully will be used after college life and in a different town. We started making plans for things to do when he was back; and it felt real. Simply perfect.
When we were on the phone, he told me to hold for a second. He held the phone away from him and I heard muffled voices. "Honey, I gotta go. I will try to call you later. I love you. Bye." And that was it. I've never heard him get off the phone in such a hurry. It bothered me. I still feel on edge. I'm sure it was completely innocent, but the manner he got off the phone made me feel uneasy.
I sat there and looked at my phone for a while, hoping it would light back up with his phone call. Or I would get a message from him telling me things were okay. Maybe he was hungry and they told him the last slice of pizza was about to get eaten if he didn't hurry up. Maybe his friends needed one more member on their pick-up soccer team. Maybe it was his turn to play a video game. Maybe, maybe...
Now I am left alone, thinking of the thousands of possiblities of things he is doing tonight. I'm jumping at every noise, hoping it is my phone ringing. I hate sitting around and thinking of every reason why he can't talk to me.
It may be another sleepless night I've been having lately. Between staying up at all hours to study, getting woken up by storms, and woken up by terrifying dreams, it is a wonder I'm not a zombie at this point. Is it really only Tuesday? But I will wait to hear from him all night, even if that means falling asleep while holding my phone in my hands.
It is all just a part of the waiting game. But I promised him, no matter what, that I would wait. And wait I will. He will come home to me. He will hold me again. He will. He will...

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