Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Off days

Do you ever have those days where you seem off balance? Where you and your significant other's schedules just don't mesh well?
We are having one of those weeks.
Things already seem so weird being home for the first time longer than a weekend since December! And who knows when I will be back again, so my mom and I have been trying to cram as much wedding planning in as possible. So already I'm feeling out of whack.
But my soldier and I just cannot get a moment to talk. Either he calls when I'm at dinner, out walking the dog, in a meeting with a wedding coordinator or whatever ridiculous activity I have to do where I can't drop everything and grab my phone. It is so frustrating.
I know I should just be thankful that he is home and he is safe; and I am very thankful. But it is so hard to be teased with little phone calls when I can't talk or when I finally do get to talk to him, he has to leave 5 minutes later. And the hardest part is knowing these phone calls are all going to end very soon for a few months. I think that is why it seems so frustrating.
Another hard part is dealing with my friends and family back home who do not understand the military lifestyle. They don't understand that I can't just call him back or why he can't call later. They don't understand why they can't know all the details about what he is doing (details that I can't even know). They don't understand why I seem like such a slacker fiance and don't care about what he is doing at every moment of the day. I've run out of ways of explaining it to them. I've tried over and over again to tell them that we just have to roll with the punches. It is hard to make our plans revolving around him when he doesn't know his own plan hour by hour. It is just so difficult to brush it all off and hope that they understand eventually. They won't. You don't understand this life until you are living it. I just wish someone had given me advice before I went into it. Thank goodness for my blogging friends and a few other military girlfriends/fiances/wives to help guide me through everything. I don't know how else I could do it.

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