It's no secret that I have gotten engaged. My blogger friends know and my real life friends know. Word gets around quickly these days with our advanced technology. It has now been 2.5 months since he put a ring on my finger, but it feels like an eternity. Things have really changed in that short amount of time, but not between me and Sweet Boy like you would think; they have changed between me and my friends.
I've lost a lot of friends. They've just stopped calling me. They're surprised to see me out. They act like I think I am better than them or something.
It is really disheartening. If anything, this is a time where I need my friends to stick by me even more, but they don't seem like they want to. It's not like I can't go out anymore because I am engaged. I still like to hang out with people. I still like to spend time with my friends. I guess they think I'm only going to talk about my fiance or my wedding now. But that just isn't true. I'm still the same person.
There is one girl who is new to my group of friends (new as of April...so not very new) who seems to forget she has met me 7 times by now. And I'm not exaggerating. She's even been to my place twice, when very few other people were there, and she still doesn't care to remember me or talk to me the next time I see her. I don't understand it. I haven't done anything wrong. The only thing that has changed is my relationship status on Facebook.
My new neighbor, the one who is married to the Marine, is having the same problem. Apparently college kids just forget about their friends once they get engaged or married. I'm still here! I'm still taking classes just like you are! My fiance doesn't even live close. Why should anything change?
I'm sitting at home tonight while some of my friends are out at dinner and trivia. I wasn't even asked to go. In all honesty, I probably would not have gone because I have an early class and trivia doesn't even start until 9, but it is still nice to be asked. This has happened a few times already and we've only been back at school for a week. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but still.
I'm worried about how it is actually going to be when I move and get married and join the military life for real. Will I lose even more friends? Will it be even harder for them to accept me? I never thought about how so much would change. I guess I never saw it before because I'm really the first one from our group to get engaged. Maybe that's why no one knows how to handle it.
I really miss Sweet Boy tonight. He always knows how to make me feel better. He knows how to calm me down. I know that I am making the right choice by marrying him, but I still want to hang out with my friends and have a memorable senior year. I hope I don't wish these months away. I want to enjoy them and be able to fondly look back on them. This isn't the way I pictured ending my college career. I just feel so lonely tonight. And there isn't really much that I can do about it. I just want Sweet Boy back. I want him to come home. He feels so far away.