Monday, February 28, 2011

Plus One

My cousin is getting married at the end of March. Her invitation has been sitting on my kitchen table for a few weeks now. It was addressed to me and my date. My "plus one". Just what everyone dreams of when they are invited to a wedding. You are allowed a "plus one" so you wouldn't have to be alone on a night that you are certain to be surrounded by love. A "plus one" can seem so important at a big party or event such as a wedding. My "plus one" can't be here. It breaks my heart to know he can't be there. I left the invitation with my mom and had her fill it out for me. I couldn't bring myself to fill it out and check that it was only going to be me there. Just me. Alone.
I remember the last wedding we went to together. It was up in Atlanta and it was his family friends who were to be married. I had never met them and I hadn't seen his family in years. I was beyond nervous to meet everyone all over again. All I wanted was to be accepted by his family and show them that we were serious this time and I wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
The wedding was perfect. I felt like no time had passed between me and some of his siblings. I had wonderful conversations with his mom and just felt like I fit right in.  He and I danced cheek to cheek at every chance we had. I would close my eyes and we were in a world all on our own. That night was also the first night I saw him in his dress uniform. He absolutely took my breath away.
The next day was the first time he told me he loved me. On the top of Stone Mountain Park. Everything about that weekend is ingrained in my mind. I think about it often.
I can't wait for the day where he will always be there to be my "plus one". I was so lucky to have him with me for all the holiday functions. There will come a time when I won't have to search for a date. A time where I won't have to explain why I'm out alone. A time where I can look at him and catch his eye across the room and we can share a mutual thought. A time where we can feel like we are the only ones in the room again.

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