It's no secret that I haven't written in awhile. I've missed it. I missed the connection I felt with people who were in my similar situation. I missed sharing my journey with people who truly understood me. But recently, I've fallen out of touch. Just floating around, not sure of my direction. Not sure of where I am. Not sure of where I stand. Then I got two comments from two new followers who put me back on track; put things in a new perspective.
Sweet Boy and I have been going through a rough spot lately. It's hard to explain it all. We've lost touch of each other. We fight more. And it isn't even about anything important. It's just fussing to fuss. We've been going through the motions of planning the wedding: working on the guest list, registering, finding the right invitations, discussing flowers and dresses. In all of that, it is hard to remember what is truly important; us.
He's been working a lot. My parents and I went to see him this weekend and he stayed at work until after 10 on Friday night and had to work until 1 on Saturday. We left right after lunch Sunday. The 5 hour drive was hardly worth it for all of us. We were all wanting to spend time with him and no one wanted to compromise. We were practically stepping over one another to get time with him.
After one long phone call this week, we sat back and examined our lives, both together and separately. We talked about why it was that we were fighting. Why neither one of us felt like a priority anymore. How did we fall into this rut so deep that by the time we noticed it, it was over our heads?
But we worked it out. And we are still working on it. Every day. Things still aren't perfect, but we are working on it. We both had things to work on. That was the most important thing to realize.
Now he calls me when he gets a break from work. We say 'I love you' each time before we hang up the phone; that's a huge change. We talk on the phone and try to tell each other about our day, and not just say things like 'it was dumb' or 'work sucked' but actually talked about it. We're working on things. They aren't perfect, but at least we are trying to make it better. I just miss him....and who we were.
I'm going up to see him again this weekend. I need to see him and spend time with just him. I honestly don't remember the last time we spent more than an hour together...just the two of us. Living at home has taken a toll on us. His work schedule has taken a toll on us. Planning this wedding for 14 months has taken a toll on us. We need to get back to the essence of us. We need to remember why we fell in love with each other. I'm ready to get things back on track. I'm ready to have my best friend back.